Hesitation - June 26

I was at Rev with Mark and Qlass. Later on, Steve and Usman joined us.

As usual, Usman tried to push me to approach sets with him on the dance floor. He would ask me if I was up for it and I would comply unenthusiastically. As usual, I ended up doing nothing. But I also could feel the fear of potentially having to approach & do that Tornado move among a group of girls. This would be a first time (Tornado move) and therefore I felt apprehensive.

Later, this provided me a big insight. One of my main challenges right now with Day Game is NOT approach anxiety but simply hesitation. In other words, it is not that I fear approaching but rather that I merely do not approach or hesitate too much.

On the other hand, I have noticed that every time I do approach during the day, there is NO anxiety before the approach, no anxiety during and anxiety after ONLY IF it was my first time doing that kind of approach.

That means that all Approach Anxiety is gone. In addition, I do know that every time I do approach, all it took is for me to make the decision to approach. In other words, in a split second I make a mental decision to approach X girl and from that point on I have NO anxiety whatsoever.

So, no anxiety before decision was made AND no anxiety after the decision is made.

So, why do I hesitate then? Why don't I approach more??

If a Decision = Fearless Action, then I don't approach more because I haven't developed the Habit of Making more Decisions.

When hesitation is the issue, a Decision is all that's needed. What about when I feel intense fear inside?

I fear when the unknown is present or I haven't acquired enough competence to give me natural confidence.

What I realized tonight is that if I am fully commited to an action, fear will disappear and get out of the way. If I am NOT fully commited, fear will be present.

Full Commitment = Deciding

The key to defeat Approach Anxiety is also taking a Decision. The only difference is that taking a decision will seem more difficult.

June 12 2009 - Insights

Last night, I went to The Vault first with Steve and Mark. We left my place at around 10h20 and we were in The Vault around 11h20. At that time, I had taken 2 Smirnoff Ice.

Later on, around 12h30, we decided to go to Rev. When I got in, I was super excited. Steve bought me a shot when we got in. We started walking around... I high-fived the first set I saw. We kept walking and then I opened a girl sitting by herself at a table with a VIP bottle. Then, I left and I was close to the bar with Mark and Steve.

Then, two girls walked by. As they walked by, I danced funny as usual BUT I accidentally grabbed the first girl. She turned around. She told me it was her Birthday. I went from there. I ended up giving her a hug and kissing her two cheeks. I did the same with her friend later.

Note: I called the cashier "dearest".


ANALYSIS:

In that interaction with those girls, for one of those rare times I was living in the moment. My mind was sharp and quick.

I believe Alcohol helps those who take it because it short circuits their logical brain and connects them with their reptilian brain (instincts). That allows them to Act before they Think (or not think at all). That allows them to Talk before they Think.

Red Bull helps as well but it is not the same. Red Bull helps us have a sharper, clearer mind. Therefore, it helps to Think faster and React faster BUT it does not short circuit the Logical brain.

Could I have slowed time my mind and overthink with those girls? YES.

The key it seems is that we CAN'T Think.

In normal circumstances, our Mind seems to be like a blank sheet of paper with things writing on it slowly. As it does, we read it. But while we do that, we can't be in the present moment.

Rather, our mind has to be so that nothing writes on that sheet. Instead, anything that comes to mind is expressed right away. No need to read it -- we just express it without analysis or reviewing.

Grandma's Trick

- Call Grandma: Ask her the first things she would ask a stranger; she would ask their name, then theirsign, then WHAT? Do they have children? How old are they? Boys or girls? Are they married? Where they work? If they have a boyfriend? Where do they live?

Infatuation, etc.

I realize now that I enjoy infatuation a lot. I know it is pleasurable at first and then it is painful if it doesn't turn out like I wanted. But a life without infatuation would not be as worth it. That's why I find that although the sex is good with Julia, I miss the fact that I feel no infatuation with her. Great sex doesn't seem to be worth as much as an emotional/intellectual connection.

Similarly, although rejection is painful, I know that without the possibility of rejection the adrenaline I feel before an approach would not exist. It seems that the good has to come with the bad. The good makes the bad worth it. In the end, it makes the whole experience worthwhile because it reminds us we are alive.

On Attraction

I had an insight yesterday regarding Attraction that I need to develop here.

All those gimmicks, lines, games and routines usually aim at showing that we are of higher value than her. By creating this impression, it creates Attraction. But if the girl immediately perceived us as higher value (as with naturals), those tricks would be unnecessary. Therefore, much less talking would be required or a more normal conversation would be alright.

That explains why some men are very good with women even if they talk little.

There are some characteristics that naturals would display, such as a good sense of humour and confidence, but a lot of what the PUA Community teaches are simply artificial means to create this perception of higher value.

How would a woman tell if you are a natural without all those tricks? What is the minimum required that we need to display?

May 15 at Rev

How I felt and my thoughts:

- Tired more than usual. Probably because I only slept about 5 hours the night before.
- Why does it appear so easy for all those guys to grind with a girl?
- At least I got to grind with my top target.
- A few girls seemed disappointed I didn't pick them. They seemed surprised I actually grinded with a girl but didn't choose them.
- Approaching is no big deal but I don't do it more because I rarely stick and I am not willing to make the necessary efforts.

May 15 Lessons

Today, I was able to get a girl I cold-approached to add me to Facebook. The Jenny she was talking about is super hot. She's like an HB 10. This makes me realize that the key to being surrounded with hot girls is also through networking with the friends of those girls we cold approach and who happen to be hot.

That's probably one key way that some guys end up being surrounded with hot girls.

I also realized with that girl that I am uncomfortable kinoing girls are skinny. They just feel so fragile and thin.