Grandma's Trick

- Call Grandma: Ask her the first things she would ask a stranger; she would ask their name, then theirsign, then WHAT? Do they have children? How old are they? Boys or girls? Are they married? Where they work? If they have a boyfriend? Where do they live?

Infatuation, etc.

I realize now that I enjoy infatuation a lot. I know it is pleasurable at first and then it is painful if it doesn't turn out like I wanted. But a life without infatuation would not be as worth it. That's why I find that although the sex is good with Julia, I miss the fact that I feel no infatuation with her. Great sex doesn't seem to be worth as much as an emotional/intellectual connection.

Similarly, although rejection is painful, I know that without the possibility of rejection the adrenaline I feel before an approach would not exist. It seems that the good has to come with the bad. The good makes the bad worth it. In the end, it makes the whole experience worthwhile because it reminds us we are alive.

On Attraction

I had an insight yesterday regarding Attraction that I need to develop here.

All those gimmicks, lines, games and routines usually aim at showing that we are of higher value than her. By creating this impression, it creates Attraction. But if the girl immediately perceived us as higher value (as with naturals), those tricks would be unnecessary. Therefore, much less talking would be required or a more normal conversation would be alright.

That explains why some men are very good with women even if they talk little.

There are some characteristics that naturals would display, such as a good sense of humour and confidence, but a lot of what the PUA Community teaches are simply artificial means to create this perception of higher value.

How would a woman tell if you are a natural without all those tricks? What is the minimum required that we need to display?

May 15 at Rev

How I felt and my thoughts:

- Tired more than usual. Probably because I only slept about 5 hours the night before.
- Why does it appear so easy for all those guys to grind with a girl?
- At least I got to grind with my top target.
- A few girls seemed disappointed I didn't pick them. They seemed surprised I actually grinded with a girl but didn't choose them.
- Approaching is no big deal but I don't do it more because I rarely stick and I am not willing to make the necessary efforts.

May 15 Lessons

Today, I was able to get a girl I cold-approached to add me to Facebook. The Jenny she was talking about is super hot. She's like an HB 10. This makes me realize that the key to being surrounded with hot girls is also through networking with the friends of those girls we cold approach and who happen to be hot.

That's probably one key way that some guys end up being surrounded with hot girls.

I also realized with that girl that I am uncomfortable kinoing girls are skinny. They just feel so fragile and thin.

Trusting Yourself

I told Mark today that what allowed the top PUAs to pull off things like a day-2 that ends in a f-close IS being completely comfortable with doing the required actions. In other words, if there is any part of our being that doubts whether it is possible, that we can accomplish it, we are ashamed of it or afraid of other's judgments, or lacking in our confidence to do it... then it likely won't happen.

What made me realize this is partly how I approach kino during the day. Kinoing girls during the day does not bother me at all. I feel totally OK with it and comfortable with it. Because of that, there is no awkwardness.

I realized today that in a very profound way confidence simply has to do with Trusting Yourself and Your Abilities. In other words, you trust yourself to implement the knowledge you have, you trust yourself to perform well, you trust yourself to perform well EVEN THE FIRST TIME, you trust that you will succeed.

This concept reminded me of the analogy of the Key. If you try to put in a key in a door hole while shaking your hand, it will be EXTREMELY difficult. But if you look straight at the hole and try to put the key in without hesitation or fidgeting, it MOST LIKELY will work.

This is the same for pickup or anything you undertake. If you attempt an approach or while talking to a girl you hesitate or do not trust your abilities, you will most likely fail. On the other hand, if you trust yourself fully and do not hesitate, you will MUCH MORE LIKELY succeed.

I will create a new theory regarding confidence.

Trusting Yourself --> Focusing your whole being on the present moment (free from the future & the past) and what you are doing --> Appearance of Confidence --> Success

PUA on May 9

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to retrieve my old blog. So I have created a new one.

Here are some thoughts I need to take note of.

Last week, I had a date with the same girl on the Friday and Saturday. When I went out that Friday night, I felt like all emotional and sexual neediness was gone. Since I wasn't used to that, I wondered whether it was a good or bad thing since at the same time I felt no desire for any woman. I seemed to realize that MOST women cannot fulfill both my emotional and sexual needs and sometimes not even either. Knowing that, I felt like I wasn't missing out on anything.

Last night, I had my second date with another girl. What I realized was not any different but rather reinforced. Once again, I came out with very little neediness. But more importantly, I realized that I felt NO desire to escalate if she wasn't a turn-on for me either sexually or if I'm not falling for her emotionally.

A bit later, I also came to the conclusion that if I am not attracted to the girl during our first date, there is NO point pursuing her or dating her again. As a result, I have decided two things.

1) The girl I see will have only ONE chance to prove herself attractive enough in terms of her personality.
2) If I find the girl physically attractive, I will escalate as much as possible during the first encounter. This means I will give them a hug right away like I used to and hold their hand right away as we enter the Cafe or activity location. I will hold her hand only briefly the first time. If she rejects my move, I won't take it personally. I will make another attempt later.
3) After the first date, I will decide if I want to see her again depending on whether I am already attracted to her.

The Art of the Pickup DVD says that too often men and women end up together because it is forced. In other words, the man picks a woman without knowing at all whether she is a good fit. I fully agree. Consequently, I need to become more picky and display it in my choices and behaviors.

- - -

There is another key thing I realized last night and I noticed that recently. When I went out last night, I had the following negative thoughts:

"It is a waste of time" "Why am I doing this?" "Why isn't it easy for me like it seems for those guys?" "I don't like it that even if she seems to give me good signs, they often reject my approach. It is confusing and frustrating." "How many times do I need to try to make it work?"
"I should just focus on Day Game."

Those kind of thoughts are not new but last night was different because I felt those thoughts were not as Loud, did not resonate with me as much... as if they were there but I felt little emotions from it. This is a good thing. The bad thing of course is that it was still affecting my behavior in a negative way.